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I have always had a thing about cutting hair.  None of my dolls ever had hair, poor things and I started cutting my own hair when I was 14.  Although I had always wanted a Mohawk like the girl from Bow Wow Wow, I had never had the nerve, always worried what people would think.  The most I ever did was daringly shave a 1 inch line above my left ear! 

I first cut it really short when I was in my 20s, more of a pixie than anything too daring.  Then in 2001 I gradually cut it down to a #3.  The comments I got were all very positive, people would say how much they loved it and that I should never grow it.  Women would say they wished they could do the same (it is amazing how many women there are who feel this way!). 

I never cut it that short again, the shortest was likely a #4, but I would grow it out to neck length before again becoming annoyed with it and cutting again.  This went on for 8 more years.  I would have occasional accidents with the clippers but nothing that could not be patched up with a bit of eyeshadow!  Then about a month ago, I grew tired of my hair growing out again (it was lower neck length) and thought I would try a bob with a very short nape.  This was all going quite well until I forgot to change the grade on the clippers and ended up with a #3 up the back.  Panic!!  No amount of eyeshadow would patch this up and it just looked awful in comparison to the longer layers – a good hint here is to never try to do a style like this on your own balancing mirrors on your knees. 

Ponder, what to do.  Well, I decided to put the longest grade on my clippers and go for an even #8 on the rest of the hair.  That really didn’t help matching in with the #3 at the bottom, so I figured I would blend it in, yes that seemed a good idea at the time.  So I put on a #4 and proceeded to do the rest up to the occipital bone all the way around, then #6 over the top.  This was not bad, but of course, fiddling fingers didn’t stop there.  I decided to blend it just a little bit better so did the lower nape as a #2 then wandered off to my home office to do some work.  Now I have these clippers where you put the plastic comb on and then turn the bottom so they move up and down to find which level you want them at.  Coming back to my hair later, as of course once you start, you just can’t leave it alone – I switched them on and decided to just have a fiddle on the sides a bit more.  Except! I had not changed the grade from the bottom and now my side was practically bald….panic! 

I stood there wondering what do to, knowing that I could not possibly go out with it like this, I was reassured by the wig downstairs that had been my mainstay for occasional mishaps in the past few years.  Let’s have a play around then I thought.  So down the top went again to #4 with the sides a hideous mix of #2 and #3.  Oooh look, a separate #1 comb.  In for a penny in for a pound.  I always wondered what it would look like so decided to use this grade up my nape to  above my ears.  I have to say the results were, well, fairly balding actually.  So #2 went on and over the top of my head.  I have to admit I was having fun at this point in a sort of “dear god it can’t get any worse so why not" sort of way.  THEN I had this thought, I cannot possibly have dark stubble pointing out from under my blonde wig.  What then possessed me I do not know, but it seemed like a good idea.  I shaved, yes shaved, my sideburns (female type of course) and my forehead, as these are the bits that poke out.  Joan of Arc at this point had nothing on me!!! 

So there I was, knowing that my hair was never going to see the light of day in front of anyone anyway,  it suddenly occurred to me that if I had gone this far I may as well go a bit further.  #1 all over followed.  I loved the feel of it, I had expected it to be bristly but it was oddly soft, in a carpetish sort of way!  I had never ever wanted a bald head as I really always preferred buzz cuts to bald heads when looking at photos.  However, it occurred to me that if ever I was going to shave my head, now would be the best time.  Cue removal of plastic comb and use of clippers with just the steel blade.  I then found myself shaving my head with a bic razor.  The weird thing is, it didn’t seem weird!!!! 

When I was finished and looking at this bald woman in the mirror, it didn’t seem odd to me.  I LIKED IT!  I had never really liked hair but honestly never expected to like having a smooth head!  I enjoyed shaving it and I enjoyed the feel. I did decide to grow it to a short crop though but every time I get to about 3 days growth I shave it off again.  I am just not ready to grow it back yet. 

It may seem strange to some, I have my own business, no one knows I shave my head, except all of you –  and I have bought a lovely new wig which is brilliant, for when I go out.  I suppose my head is my personal secret, I have not done it for shock value, or to make a point but just for me.  I honestly never expected to stay bald, but at this moment in time, one month on, I can’t see me growing it out either. 

I have got to know my head.  I know there are four distinct areas to it, all need shaving slightly differently and I know now that I have a birth mark just beyond my right hairline above my ear that I never knew I had! (That is 3 whole birth marks on my body in total!) 

So I thought I would share my experience and say to any woman, if you want to do it, do it.  You may be as pleasantly surprised as me.  I would add, that I don’t have a partner, so I didn’t have to explain to him why I would wish to do this, or have to explain to anyone actually.  All I know is I don’t see it as a statement, I see it as something I enjoy for me, I feel that I am finally myself and something else, I feel like nothing else can scare me.  I mean we all worry about hair loss, or what we would look like without hair to hide behind, but now I don’t have to as I know already.  I am no raving beauty it has to be said, but I feel happy.  That to me is what life is about….

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