Jane's hen party in Thailand had been planned for months but none of us had planned for what happened. The night it started was a bit of a blur - Following a night on the town, all I can remember an argument in a bar, and shouting, and then everyone was running away. I was picked up in a drunken state by the local police about 100 yards from the bar and taken in a small van to the local police station. I tried to protest my innocence but no-one understood more than rudimentary English. As I was led to the cells I caught a glimpse of Jane, Jenny and Kristy sitting in a side corridor looking thoroughly miserable.
I was led to a small dingy cell with a couple of dirty mattresses on the floor and the door was slammed behind me. I sat with my head in my hands for ages; eventually the cell doors opened and Jane, Jenny and Kirsty were roughly shoved in. Once more the cell doors slammed shut. I was still in the dark as to why we'd been arrested, but Jenny (who was a bit more sober at the time) filled us in on the rest of the story. One of the waiters in the bar had groped Jane, who in her usual hot headed way had retaliated by slapping him. This had escalated quickly and in her anger Jane had picked up a couple of large glass ashtrays and thrown them at the display of bottles behind the bar. This was the point at which sensible Kirsty had shouted 'Run'. Like me they'd all been picked up within minutes of the incident.
We were held through the heat of the day until, as night drew close, the cell door opened again. We were led through the building (thinking we would be released) until we reached a small room which we were ushered into and sat on a long wooden bench. After a few minutes a well dressed western looking man came in and sat down. He introduced himself as Dean Adams and said he worked for the British embassy in Thailand. He explained that we were in a lot of trouble. The bar owner had made an official complaint against the four of us, citing criminal damage and civil disorder. We immediately offered to pay for the damage but Dean explained that the real issue was the civil disorder. The Thai government were fed up to the teeth with drunken British holidaymakers causing trouble and had decided this year to clamp down on all such disorder. He broke it to us gently that the standard sentence for our offence was 60 days in jail. Kirsty, Jenny and myself tried to explain that all we had done was run away but Dean explained that such incidents were treated as 'Joint Ventures' and we would be tried, and if found guilty, sentenced as a group. We were dumbstruck. Dean said he would do his best to get us representation and that we should keep our chins up. He left with a promise that he would be in touch soon.
Our trial followed swiftly a couple of days later. We stood in the tiny hot courtroom listening to the arguments but not understanding a word. Dean stood behind us and a Thai lawyer, that he had recommended, acted for us. The trial lasted all of 20 minutes, and at the end of it the judge addressed us in Thai.
Dean shook his head in disgust and whispered 'Sorry Girls, we did our best'. We later found out that the brief had done us no good at all, and that the four of us had each been sentenced to the standard sixty days jail each. We clung to each other in anticipation as the truck drove us under guard to the nearest women’s prison.
The prison was worse than the police cells. The whole place was alive with cockroaches, and the place smelled of sweat and shit. We were placed in a holding cell with about eight other local women, and one by one we were taken to the arrivals hut. When my turn came I was marched to the hut and ordered to strip. I stopped at my bra and panties but the woman guard made it clear that she wanted me stripped completely. My clothes were searched, bagged up and taken away. I wasn't to see them again until we were discharged. I was handed a grey smock dress that came to barely half way down my thighs and a pair of used white plastic flip-flops. When I asked about underwear the guard just shrugged and grinned a toothless grin at me. I was then marched through to the cells proper.
Jane and Kirsty were there already and soon after Jenny joined us. There were about twenty of us in the cell and at first I thought it was a mixed sex cell. About half the inmates had hair that was short or shaved, and at first glance appeared to be men. I realised after a while that they were local Thai women.
As the day drew on it became apparent why they had opted for short hair, the temperature in the cell soared and soon we were all sweaty and sticky. If my sentence had been six years I’d have probably gone for a shorter cut myself but hell, we were only in for sixty days.
The days passed slowly and Dean only managed to visit us once in the first three weeks. When he arrived, Jane was the first on his ear. She complained loudly about the filthy state of the place and the constant cockroaches. She even showed him one she had killed that was as big as a credit card. The best advice Dean could give was to tough it out. He explained that it was useless to complain and he advised strongly against stirring things up. Dean had brought us a few bits and pieces including a comb and toothbrushes (but no dammed toothpaste – idiot!) and he left with a promise that he'd be back in a couple of weeks. He also gave Jane the good news that her fiancé, although mad as hell that she'd got us arrested, had managed to postpone the wedding until a week after our release The visit soon ended and we were soon back in the cell.
Jane found prison life harder than the rest of us from the start, she was used to the fine life and all it could offer, and the contrast with prison life had left her reeling. She complained about the mattresses, she complained about the food, and she complained about the filth. She was right, but she still drove us mad with her bitching and moaning. Very few people we encountered had any English at all, and those that did spoke the language very poorly. The cells were more like open cages, and the heat and flies of the day gave way to chilled nights. We had to take it in turns to sleep as there were not enough mattresses for all of us to sleep at the same time. From time to time we would see people being hauled by guards to and from the admin huts with their feet dragging out behind them in the dust. One time we witnessed a belligerent local woman being beaten mercilessly about the back of her legs with a vicious looking thin cane. We were terrified of jail life at first but soon learned to keep our heads down and get on with it.
By week five we were all starting to crack up a bit, Jane more than most. One morning she sat by the bars examining her hair when she let out a scream. Kirsty ran over as Jane declared loudly that she had lice in her hair. She was horrified, and we had to try to reassure her that it wouldn't hurt her, and that we'd be out in three weeks. Later that day Kirsty and I both found lice in our own hair. Just the thought of it had us itching and scratching. As the days passed Jane was getting very little sleep, lying there itching and twitching all night, and as a consequence was getting really ratty. By the time Dean appeared for his third visit she was at breaking point. That afternoon in the visitors hut she begged with Dean to get something done about the conditions in the cells. Dean offered his sympathy but explained that he had no say in the governing of the prison and it would be unwise to rock the boat.
That evening Jane approached one of the guards that spoke some English. We watched as she spoke quietly to the guard, and eventually she nodded at the guard and returned to us, smiling for a change. As we sat in a huddle in the corner of the cell, Jane announced that she had arranged to speak with the prison governor about the lice infestation the next morning. Kirsty immediately offered to accompany her for moral support.
Next morning the guard Jane had spoken to returned with a second guard, He gestured to Jane to come, and when Kirsty accompanied her he shrugged and led them both out of the cell. They had been gone for what seemed like ages when a second pair of guards approached the cage and beckoned me and Jenny over to them. They led us from the cage and marched us forcibly up the slope to the admin block. As we approached the admin block we got a glimpse of a couple of local girl prisoners being march/dragged past us in the opposite direction. Although they were moving fast in the other direction we could see they were wailing like banshees and one bore the telltale stripes of a caning across the back of her legs. We glanced at each other in fear. In the admin block we were roughly seated and left alone for a minute or two. We sat in silence, not looking at each other.
The door at the end opened, and two large male guards came into the room and grabbed Jenny by the arms. Her dress was pulled off over her head, and she was forced to bend forward by the larger guard. The smaller of the two produced a pair of large scissors, and cut a large chunk of her beautiful long hair, leaving her with an inch long tuft. As she realised what had just happened Jenny pulled away with a scream, but the larger guard was ready for this. As the smaller guard held Jenny tight, he left the room and returned with one of the long vicious canes. With a swish he raked it across the back of Jenny's legs and she shrieked with pain. Again the large guard bent her over and now, with Jenny duly subdued, he proceeded to hack at her hair with the scissors until she looked like a punk rocker. I just sat stunned and quaking, it was obvious I was going to be next. Then, Just as I thought Jenny's ordeal was over, the small guard produced a pair of clippers. As he plugged them In I tried to protest on Jenny's behalf but the guard either didn't understand or didn't care. Jenny obviously hadn't seen the clippers, because when they burst into life, she jumped like she'd been kicked. She wailed a drawn out howl of despair. I then realised that the shaved wretches we'd seen earlier on the way to the admin hut, that I had assumed were local girls, had been the freshly clipped Jane and Kirsty. I started to sob, knowing my fate was sealed and seeing Jenny become what I would soon become.
Jenny's hair took about 2 minutes to completely clip. Although she wasn't completely shaved she might as well have been, all that was left was rough stubble. Then as Jenny was pushed back to the bench sobbing the smaller guard beckoned me to come over. I sat there still, I don't know what I expected but I couldn't move. The room shrunk around me until only myself and the clippers existed. I was hauled to my feet and swiftly undressed. I was roughly bent over by the guard and suddenly, trembling, I felt a warm wet stream over my feet - I’d wet myself in fear.
As the scissors started to rip into my hair and do their terrible job I just stood there sobbing, bent almost double, staring at my flip-flopped feet, as a pile of my beautiful blond hair mingled with the spreading puddle of piss I was now standing in. When the clippers came it was a shock, even though I knew what was going to happen. Although by this time most of my hair now lay on the floor, the clippers sent me into another round of trembling and, as the guard placed the clippers to my forehead, my knees buckled beneath me and I sank to the floor. The guard merely leaned forward and continued to push the clippers into my hairline. As the last of my hair began to fall I shivered at the new unfamiliar cool feeling. In different circumstances the feeling would have been nice, almost sensual, here however it just added to my increasing feeling of nakedness.
The clipping was over in just minutes, and finally I was allowed to stand and dress. Jenny sat on the bench sobbing quietly and I was pushed over to join her. Long strands of my hair came with me, tangled in my flip -flops. The small guard left the room and the larger remained on guard at the door grinning like an idiot. After a couple more minutes the small guard returned with a well dressed Thai man, who we later found out was the prison governor. He smiled and politely informed us that we no longer had a problem with head lice, and with a wave of his hand he dismissed us. That was the signal for the two guards to drag/march us back to the cage.
Jane sat in the corner of the cage nursing her cut legs and saying sorry sorry sorry - over and over. Kirsty just sat and stared into the distance with tears running down her dirt streaked face. As we were thrust back into the cage Kirsty looked up and it was obvious that it took a couple of seconds for her to recognise us. When she did she started laughing. Not a friendly happy, laugh however, but the maniacal laugh of a woman that had lost it completely. As we sat and hugged the laughing gave way to tears again.
The three of us sat and hugged each other for the rest of the day, trying not to look at each others newly scalped heads. I drifted to sleep that night In Jenny's arms. Next day I woke slowly and the realization of what had happened sank in. I sat and rubbed the bristles on my head and the roughness shocked me, I almost wished they had gone one step further and actually shaved our heads, it would have looked and felt better than the uneven stubble we were left with. I looked around for Jane and saw her curled in the corner. As I approached her she sat up and started to apologise again, but I shook my head. Although it was her big mouth that had brought this down on us I was in no mood for recriminations. After all - It was Jane that was going to have to get married in a few weeks’ time, we were only the bridesmaids.
After a while the other two joined us in the corner. I looked around at them and suddenly realised that although I’d seen the damage that had been done to the others I'd not even seen my haircut. I steeled myself and walked across the cell to get my mirror. As I walked I could feel the stares of the local girls burning into me and I blushed and looked down at the floor. I retrieved my tiny mirror and returned to the others. Reluctant at first I eventually plucked up the courage to inspect the new me. A pale shaved girl looked back at me and I shuddered as my ordeal came flooding back to me. As I held the mirror I gradually came to the realisation that this was going to be me for quite a while. A hand reached over and Jane took my mirror, she gasped at her reflection and, not wanting to dwell on the picture that faced her, she hurriedly passed the mirror on.
The rest of our stay in the jail passed relatively uneventfully. Eventually our release date arrived and we were taken from the cell. We were taken to the admin huts and our clothes were returned to us. As we dressed in the party clothes, the same ones we had been arrested in, it accentuated our new look clippered heads, and we even managed a snigger at each other. A door then opened and Dean entered. His face cracked as he saw us. He didn't say a word until we had left the jail. As we drove to the airport he finally gave us the embassy's standard 'told you so - naughty girl speech'.
As we finally sat on the plane we were left to reflect on Jane's forthcoming wedding. We discussed postponing it, or buying wigs, but eventually Jane declared that she was getting married as she was, and that she wanted us just as we were too. Bride and bridesmaids - all clipped to the bone.
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