It had been a really long time since the last time I had been in for a cut. The mohawk was a huge hit at work and with my boyfriend. I had let it go. Not purposely, but just because I got too busy. Now my hair was shaggy and scruffy looking. I called and made an appointment.
"I expected you to maintain this one a little closer," said my stylist.
"I know," I confessed, "I'm just a busy girl."
"Well?" he asked. "What'll it be this time?"
"Why don't you surprise me one more time," I said.
I closed my eyes and heard the familiar sound of the clippers. I was hoping he'd do that. I felt them touch my forehead and plunge straight back. This time I decided to just enjoy the ride and concentrate on every sensation. It was still over too quickly. He made very short work of my entire head. Next came the shaving lotion and the scraping of the blade. After several more minutes this, too, stopped. Then I felt a cool fluid being massaged into my scalp. This was accompanied by a very intoxicating smell and a brisk tingling all over my scalp. This lasted for several minutes.
I opened my eyes and stared back at a completely bald me. "I love the look," I said, "but honestly I'm not very surprised. Thank you very much."
I really looked great bald, and I was determined to be better about maintaining it this time.
Time went by and I got busy again. It took me several weeks to notice that my hair wasn't growing back. I was still as bald as the day I went to the salon. I called the place and asked to talk to my stylist.
"What gives?" I asked.
"Surprise!" he said. "That last chemical I used was permanent hair remover. Your hair will never grow back. I figured this was the ultimate solution to your lifestyle problem."
"Wow!" I said. "This I did not expect. Well. Honestly it's been nice not having to maintain it. And I do really like being bald. It'll probably just take me a few days to get used to being bald forever. Please don't mistake my lack of enthusiasm for ingratitude. I really do appreciate the thought."
As soon as I hung up the phone and touched my smooth head I began to feel elated at the thought that it would always be this way with no maintenance. I took my newfound enthusiasm to the mall and went on a shopping spree. My boyfriend was equally thrilled with the news.
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