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I don’t know where I am or how I got here. I know that it’s dark and I am restrained in some manner in a standing position with my arms outstretched at an angle above my head and my legs spread apart. I know I’m naked. It’s deathly quiet. The air is still and I feel neither hot nor cold. I don’t know how long I’ve been here. When awareness came to me, I was here, in this situation. I’m twenty-six years old, I have a good job, a nice apartment, and I live by myself. I have a boyfriend – his name is Gene. My name is Karen. I have a nice figure. I’m five foot, seven inches tall and I weigh one hundred, nineteen pounds. I have wavy blonde hair that comes to the middle of my back. I’ve tried to call out, but though I think the words and make the effort, no sound comes out of me. I’m scared! I have no idea how long I’ve been here, but it seems like hours to me. I try again to call out for help, but there is nothing. I can feel tears rolling down my cheeks.

All of a sudden, a bright light shines down on me from above. I can only see me – I still can’t see around me. I am standing on what appears to be a small support under each foot. I can see that I am kept in place by steel shackles around my ankles and calves and also my wrists and forearms. I appear to be secured to a large stainless steel “X” that is somehow attached to the floor. Why can’t I cry out? Where am I? What’s happening to me?

In the distance I hear a door opening and closing. I hear footsteps approaching me. I can see a figure standing just outside the shaft of light where I am lashed to my “X”. The person just stands there. Not moving or speaking. Just looking up at me. Finally the figure speaks. “Hello Karen. It’s been a long time, hasn’t it?” I try to speak, but I still can’t make any sound. I can tell from the voice that the person was female. She steps into the light. I look at her, but I have no idea who she is. She looks to be about my age with shoulder length red hair. I can’t tell how tall she is because I am tied to this giant “X” and I think that I must be held here about a foot or so above the floor, which I can now see, is concrete. She said, “I’ve waited many years for this and now, at last, here you are. You have no idea how glad I am to see you. Over the course of the next few days, you and I are going to take a little trip down memory lane and have some fun along the way. I know that you must be wondering where you are and why you’re here. Be patient Karen. All things shall be made abundantly clear to you very soon. I know that you can’t speak, but don’t worry – after a time, your voice will come back.” Then she stepped out of the shaft of light and I could hear her footsteps going away from me.

I think that I must have drifted out of conscientiousness, for how long, I have no idea, but with a sudden awareness, I jerked awake and saw her standing in front of me. “Welcome back, Karen. Have you figured out who I am yet? Don’t worry – you will. And when you do, you’ll know why you’re here. I’ll try to help you out with your clouded memory. Think way back. Back to when you were fifteen years old. Nothing? Okay; how about when you were fifteen years old and you were the leader of a club and you had three other girls in it. Coming back now? I thought it might. Three other girls. Tina, Janice, and Margie. I’ve already spent some time with them. You’re the last of them. They all told me that you were the leader and that everything you guys did was all your idea. The sole purpose of your club was to make sure that you four girls were the best looking and the most popular. You made sure of this by destroying the looks and reputations of other girls that were prettier and more popular than you. Are you remembering now? You used to make up lies about all of the other pretty girls and tell of wild parties they would go to and of all of the bizarre things they would do while they were there. Do you remember one little girl in particular with red hair? She had a crush on Richard and this made you angry. So you got your friends together and caught the girl walking home from school one day. Three of them held her down while you brought out a pair of scissors and started cutting off all of her beautiful hair. When you were finished, her hair was butchered and you all laughed and went on your way. You remember now, don’t you? Yes – I can see that you remember because you’re looking really scared right now. That’s good. You should be scared.”

I saw that she walked over to a table close by and pushed a lever forward on a consol. As she was pushing the lever, I could hear a noise that sounded like a machine working. And then at the same instant, I could feel my “X” moving. It was tilting backwards and as it was doing so, I could feel a shelf sliding out from the top of the “X” and extending behind me to give my head support. It continued to move backwards until it was in a flat potion, parallel to the floor, about three feet off of the floor. She left the consol then and moved over to where I was. She was bent over and near my womanhood. I could not see what she was doing, but I could feel tiny sharp sensations all around my pubic area. It was starting to hurt and it went on for what seemed like hours. Finally she said, “There, all done.” “ Electrolysis,” she said by way of explanation. “Now, to move on to bigger and better things. She moved beside my head and positioned herself over my face. “Eyebrows”. “You don’t want those bushy things, do you?” No sooner had she said that than I felt the same sensation on my eyebrows as I had felt on my pubic region. “There! That looks a lot better.” “Have you been thinking about all of the terrible things you and your cohorts did as children?” I’ll bet you’re thinking now that maybe that wasn’t such a good idea, huh?” She said, “Keep thinking about all of those things you did long ago. Meanwhile, I have some other things to do, but don’t worry, I’ll be back.” And with that she got up and repositioned my “X” back into an upright position and walked out of the beam of light and out of the room. Then all was dark once again.

During the time that she was gone, the things that my friends and I did came back to my mind in a flood. They were terrible, unspeakable things! How could we have done them? I remembered the little red headed girl. We did cut off her hair. No – “I” cut off her hair. I remember thinking that it was so funny. The girl cried and cried and we all just laughed at her. I started thinking of other terrible deeds to our credit. There was the one girl with the beautiful raven black hair down to her waist and we grabbed her and painted her hair bright pink. She tried to wash the paint out, but in the end she’d had to have most of it cut off. I remembered the girl whose panties we’d taken while she was in gym class and the chemical compound that we sprinkled inside and how she broke out in that terrible rash after she put her panties back on and her mother had to take her in to the hospital for treatment. A parade of these hideous acts kept flooding through my mind. I was a terrible person, I now realized and I hated myself. I would give anything to be able to ‘undo’ all of the things we did. As I was thinking back and recalling with unrelenting grief, the things we had done, I heard again the footsteps in the dark and knew that she was returning to me as I could hear her footsteps getting louder.

“Well I’m back Karen. Did you miss me?” “I sure missed you.” As she was speaking, I could see her again move to the consol and push the lever forward and that made the “X” start moving. The shelf slid under my head and I was again parallel to the floor. She came up by my head and asked if I’d been thinking about the past. I nodded my head to let her know that I had. She asked me if I was fond of those memories. I shook my head no and I could feel tears flowing down my cheeks. She saw the tears and commented that maybe I really was sorry for what I had done. But, she said that sorry or not, it didn’t matter. She’d been planning this for over eleven years. She produced a pair of scissors and clicked the blades a few times in front of my face. She asked if I was ready for the next part of her planned entertainment. She looked at my hair and told me how pretty it was and that it was a shame that she was going to have to cut it. I just stared at her with a blank expression on my face. I didn’t want her to cut my hair, but how could I plead with her not too? I remembered that when it was me holding the scissors, she begged and begged me not to cut her hair. She studied my hair for a long time. Finally she said that she thought that I would look much better with shorter bangs. She took up my bangs in her left hand and then placed the blades of the scissors about ¼ of an inch above my scalp and clicked the blades together. She dropped the severed bangs in my face and said that that looked a lot better. She moved back to the consol and raised the “X” up to about a 45-degree angle. When she did, the little shelf that supported my head moved back under the “X”. She said that this was a much better position for me to be in while she ‘adjusted’ the length of my hair. She asked me how short I wanted to go, but of course, I couldn’t speak. She said, “I know, I’ll just start cutting and when you think it’s short enough, you just say ‘when’, okay?” She would take a length of my hair and snip it off and then lay it over my breasts so that I could see it. She continued to do this for about five minutes. The pile of hair that was on my breasts was enormous! Finally she said, “I haven’t heard you say ‘enough’ yet, so I guess it’s not short enough, but that’s about all I can do with the scissors. Let me get my clippers.” She went back to the consol and returned with a pair of large black barber’s clippers. She turned them on and they made a whirring sound. She brought the clippers next to my ear and the sound was quite loud. “That’s such a nice sound, don’t you think?” I have a lot of attachments that I can use with these, but I’m not sure that we need any attachments.” “What do you think?” All the while she was taunting me with the clippers and bringing them near my hair, all I could think of was that poor little girl with the red hair. How could I ever have done such a horrible thing to her? How could I ever make it right with her? I didn’t care what she did to me anymore. I wish that I could speak so that I could tell her how truly sorry I am. She’s got to know that I want to make things right. I’ll never be able to live with myself if I can’t do something for her. She set the clippers down and just looked at me. Then she said, “You know, after you cut my hair and I finally made it home, I went completely out of it.” “My mother finally had to put me in a ‘special care facility’.” “That’s what they called it, but it was a nut house.” “I stayed there for two years trying to figure out what I had done to make you be so mean to me.” “Then, one day, it just sort of came to me…I didn’t do anything to you…you were just a mean person and that’s when I decided that I had to find you.” “All of you.” “And now I have.” “Are you having fun here, or is it just me?” “I hope that you are truly enjoying this just half as much as I am, because I’d be really upset if I thought that you were just lying there being bored with all of this.” She picked up the clippers once again and turned them on. This time, not in a taunting manner, but in a no nonsense sort of way and brought them up to my forehead, touched them down next to my scalp and proceeded to push them forward through my hair. I could hear my hair being cut and I could feel the clippers as they continued their journey all around my head. In just a few moments, she was done and the clippers became silent. She went back towards the consol and laid down the clippers and returned with shaving cream and a razor. After she had spread shaving cream all over my head, she set the can down, picked up the razor and started shaving my head. While she was shaving, I could see in her eyes and she had such a dazed, vacant look. It really frightened me. Continuing on with the shaving, she started humming. It wasn’t really a tune – just some little noises. After what seemed to be hours, she was still just very calmly, running the razor all over my head in every direction. Still humming and still with that vacant look in her eyes. I knew there could not possibly still be anything for her to shave, but she just kept at. Finally, after another few moments of her just running the razor over and over my head, it seemed like something just sort of snapped and she looked at me and the razor in her hand and realized that she had ‘zoned out’. She looked at my head and said, “Well, it looks like that part’s all done. How do you like it? Oh, that’s right, you can’t see it. She left, but only for a moment and returned with a large hand mirror and held it so I could see the changes so far. My God! I would never have believed that just my eyebrows being gone and a bald head could me look so, so...so foreign! I didn’t even look human! I just stared...I couldn’t believe it. Tears started rolling down my cheeks and I got a bad case of the shakes and I couldn’t stop them. “Oh, just in case you were wondering, she said, your bald head will be made permanent too”. And with that, she took her mirror and walked off. Darkness soon followed. Some time had passed; how much, I have no idea, but I heard her foot steps as they once again approached. “Did you have a nice nap?” The light came back on. She seemed to be busy mixing something in a can. I don’t know what it is, but it smells terrible! She looked over at me...”It’s just about ready”, she said. Then I saw her push the lever and my “X” started to move once again. When I was horizontal, once more, she walked over to me with the can and a small one inch paint brush. “I hope the smell of this isn’t too horrible for you”, and with that, she started painting my head with this smelly green liquid. In no time at all, my head was completely cover with the stuff. As she was putting the lid back on the can and rinsing out the brush, she said, “You should start feeling the stuff work, any moment now”. No sooner had she said that than my head started to tingle. Then it started burning in a mild sort or way, but now it’s burning intensely! It’s burning more and more! I can’t bare this any longer. I opened my mouth to scream – air came out of my lungs, but no sound. Tears are streaming down my face – I can’t take it any more......darkness. She’s back and I awaken to her voice and the light. “I know that burned a lot, but it takes some heavy-duty chemicals to burn out all of the hair follicles. You will never have hair on your head again; trust me. Oh, and while you were ‘resting’, I also pulled out all of your eyelashes. They may grow back or not, but the odds aren’t in favor of it. I think you should be all dry and ready to be peeled now, and with that, she came over and picked at one corner of my head to start the green stuff peeling. That was a very strange sensation; her pulling up the green stuff, which was now like a hard rubber ‘skin’ and my scalp clinging to it as she pulled and then the green stuff and my scalp would separate and it did that and felt like that all the way across my entire scalp. When she was done, she had this green ‘skin’, shaped just like my head, in her hand and I had a very tingly scalp. “This green slime is my own concoction, by the way. It took me awhile to finally get it perfected, but I had your three friends to test it on. I can now guarantee its results. Maybe, when I’m all done with you I can market it for sale.  It’s a great little permanent hair remover – if you don’t mind a little burning for awhile. “Well, that’s about all the excitement I have for you today, but boy will you be surprised tomorrow!” She came over to me and I saw a hypodermic in her hand. She stuck in my arm and then the lights went out.

   The next thing I knew, my face was being mildly slapped. “Come on, Karen, wake up – wake up. That’s it, wakey, wakey.” As I started to wake up I instantly became aware of intense pain in my chest! It was just excruciating. She looked at me and said, “I know, it hurts a lot, and I’m sorry about that, but the pain should start to taper off after a few days. And just in case you’re wondering why you hurt so much, I have this doctor friend of mine; well, he’s not really a doctor, at least not anymore; and I had him remove both of your breasts. Such a pity. They were so nicely shaped too.” I couldn’t believe my ears! Had my boobs removed?! Why?? How could she? Oh my God...why is she doing this to me? I was crying so hard now. Tears gushing from my eyes. Through my blurred vision, I saw her coming towards me with another hypo. “The doctor said that you should get lots of rest for the next couple of days.” In went the needle and out went my lights.

   I woke up. I was no longer on my “X”. I could see the sky outside. I was no longer restrained. I was still naked. Slowly, things started to take shape. I could recognize a few things. I tried moving. A slight twinge of pain in my chest; I looked down – it was true, my boobs were gone. I put my hand to my head – no hair. I looked and felt – no eyebrows – no pubic hair. I was in my own bedroom, on my own bed. The light in the bedroom was fading fast. I turned on the light. I saw myself in the dresser mirror. My God! I couldn’t stand it and looked away. For the rest of the day and night I cried and cried. I woke up in the morning, still on my bed, still naked, still bald everywhere and still boobless. Becky. That was her name – Becky.  I remember it all now. Sorry as I am that this happened to me, I deserved it all and probably more! How could I have been so mean?

   Some years later, a very young and frightened girl with one side of her face all battered and swollen came in to the room. As she sat there crying, a woman came over and put a cold compress on her face. Hold that to your face sweetie while I go and get some forms. She came back and after she made sure the girl was as comfortable as she could be, under the circumstances, she started asking her questions as she filled out the forms. As she answered the questions, it became clear that she’d been beaten up by some other girls at her college. Another woman came out of the office area and told the woman filling out the report to make sure that she got the names of the girls who beat her up. The woman nodded and said, “Yes ma’am.” After she went back into the office, the young girl asked who the other woman was. She said, “Oh, that’s Karen, my boss. She runs this shelter for battered women.” “Well what happened to her? Why doesn’t she have any hair or breasts?” “We don’t really know for sure – she never talks about it. Some of the older staff members think she was in some kind of an accident, but they’re not positive.  All I know for sure is that she has a whole boatload of compassion for battered women and especially those that get beat up and abused by other girls. Once she knows who did it, she goes after them with the law and has them prosecuted to the fullest extent possible. So don’t worry, you couldn’t ask for anyone more dedicated for helping traumatized women.

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